Wasted4Eva

-Part Zero-

Re-Birth Again.

          Yesterday, I had to go out with my Parents to have dinner in that place… I use to go to the same place most often with my friends or with my sisters…But that was the first time to go there, with no one who is similar to my age. Only my parents and I!!  My Sister who is older than me with 7 years and my Aunt "who raised me" joined us later on and atmosphere was like:   Lot of thoughts passed through my mind As a Human being… We’ve been acting in a strange way. When we were Kids we use to see Parents as dominating powers that are there to destroy our lives that prevent us from every joy (created) on Earth!!  We weren’t so close to our parents… They raised us to grow up and become what we are now, and Lot of things might interferers the Image of how a happy family would be… Not every body had a chance to live in the middle of a happy family. I don’t think that there is a happy family a9lan!! Bas the Idea of… Those memories flashing in front of your eyes while sitting with them, listening to your dad talk about politics or about how he used to be; A Discipline employee who worked his ass off to reach that position and become a Manager. Or your mom watching that Silly cat which knocked the rest of my (Calmness) by passing in front of us as if it waiting to give you that Pause, to take a picture of it ! (As if 3aad…The cat was 3a9la w t7awim el kabd)!! Or the moment when they start flirting! I know some would say Eww Bas the look at their eyes, that make you wonder… How much they loved each other since more than 35 years. It makes you ask your self. Is there any real love rather than their love? Did I Really loved or its only Le3b 3yaal and that this is the true love elli I don’t know If I’m going to experience or not. The Conversation that varies between telling you old stories about your childhood and then filling your plate with lots of food as if you are still a child…(of course you will remain a child in their eyes! Ya3ni No Way to run away)!! The questions they ask you and you feel that they missed the connection between the (Child –You) and this adult who is sitting with them. The feeling elli ma a3rif ashra7oh coz it’s a mixture between el sho3oor bel 3a6f towards them aw el 5oof 3alaihom coz they grow up and that idea Keeps haunting your mind… What would you do if one of them disappears?

-Part 2-

Anger Management  

          And a new fight with my Insane Brother, I just don’t get it. Why doesn’t he get married and Leave me in Peace!! I can’t accept the idea that he is a control freak! Yaa5i 6ayeb salamaaaT!! Men Jed he is ma 3ndoh Salfah!! The idea of him taking control on me just for no fucking reason drove me insane w ka2anni nagi9 Kaman insanity akthar in my life! Life is treating me with the most insane way mn bid el 3aalmeeen kellhom…Nag9een Kaman el a5 yetfalsaf w create rules outta of his ass?! Nope! Whether he is dead by my hands or I will Kill ma self!! 

-Part 3-

Breakdown 

                  I had the worst Nerve breakdown yesterday as if I’ve never had!! I wasn’t expecting it at all coz I was too fucking cool and calm! Didn’t freak me out because I was so angry about myself. And how did I let my self reach that level of being careless and feeling less! I tried moving that feeling by boxing. But I guess my Boxing bag was a dear thing to me so I hugged it and Cried!! (Ya 7beeeelaha…7ammalt el aseyaa)…       

WARNING!

1. If you are easily offended, DON'T Read This!

2.IF You Are Too Sensitive, DON'T Think Of Reading This!

3.IF You Are Going to Comment with Harsh Words or Disrespect Your Self Before You Think That You Kicked My Ass, U'd Better Not To Read it. I will Blow Up Urz If I Found a Stupid Comment!!

4. If You Are a Raciest, Then Get Outta Here!

5. If You Are a Homophobic, Go AWAY! No Place for Haters!!

6.If You Read this, You Shouldn’t Feel Angry.. It's written for some people who Love Humor!

Good as a friend, Sucks as a Lover

(Good as a friend, Sucks as a Lover) That's what I'm going To write on a T-shirt and wear it whenever I going on a date with someone new! I Just Fed up of Our Saudi Girls and I guess that I'm so fucking wrong to even think of them as a First option when I date…!!  Wallah I start to think that I do good as a friend to them. But as a Lover? No Way!! Seriously am talking about a serious Issue to me.. What is the matter with'em? Was it my fault That I was so Honest And treated them in a good way (da same way) I wanted them to treat me with But I was so Wrong? Was it coz I still think that real love comes only once that's why am still Mistaken in my choices? 7aram, I Love Jodi, I Really do and I feel that she is the only one who won't give a shitt about our typical girls in here. I love her friendship and I love being with her… I just don't get the Idea of Girls in General… Ok… Here it is the Last Result after a Deeeeeeeeeep Study (I Love this Gunja Bunja Thingy)… (if you are easily offended, DON'T Read!!)

1. Typical (GLBT) Girls in Riyadh=·

• 1st week : Love u.
• 2nd week : enta7rat coz she miss u w ahlaha saved her.·
• 3rd week :u break up yjeeha cancer .

• My Comment:  ya5ti 5ala9 2slooob gdym mafrooo'9 y6al3w shay jdyd lol  

• Typical (GLBT) Banat Sharqiya= · 

• 1 week **ya 7beelik miss u*·      
•  2 week **I wanna have sex with u *·      
• 3rd week** We have to be friends
• *My Friend's Comment :ana ma 3aadni a7ib men hena.. asaleeeeb m3afffffffina  yaaaaa 7bi l banaat el Kuwait!!! 
• 6b3an Can I go away without telling her a comment? Nope:Here we goes:

•  Typical (GLBT) Kuwaiti Girls: ·

• 1st day: I love u.·
• 2nd week :i cant get enough of.·
• 3rd week: we cant be together, Bas I will stay with you la3younich..·
• 4th week: etha ma jaity tara bashrid 3al 7odooood w ajeek.·
• 5th week: (ambeeeeh abeeech 7addi) ·
• One Year after: (taglib 9byk)

I Know am writing in a Bahraini Blog.. (No Offence Guys) But we were talking about ppl we met… So No Hurt Feelings….

 Typical Bahraini (GLBT) Girls:t

jeeeeek el wa7da jarrrrrrrrrrrrr7..Bas La t7ki !!·'

• 1st week:  yalla tetgabbalynaha (ba3'9ohom el accent t5agig tmawit aaaaaaa7 bgowa)·
• 2nd week: (Mooodriiiiiiiiii..Moooobbbaaaaai..ooobbeeechetc)
• ·3rd week u stop calling her w she keep messaging u w calling u!!·
• after 10 years : u mesage  to say Hi w u find her the same *ya3ni twahagna**

• Typical (GLBT) In Qatar:· 
• 1st day: Makoo eslooob at all.·
• 2nd day: Horny 24/7·
• 3rd day : talk about sports (3ala balhom she is being sexy)!! ·
• 4th day: Abad makoo 4th day U will Break Up 3ala 6ool!!

• Typical (GLBT) UAE Girls…·

(howa feeeeh 3ndohom girls)? Sorry bas kiill elli we met were Ajaanib…The only One Was a Computer Nerd!!! And In Sharqiya there is Different Kinds of PPL.. So I will Be speciallized in the (07) Code means ahl el Jonoob… (raf3eeen '9a'36i) 

• ·1st day : (te'3la6 fi ur phone)
• ·the same day:  she send msgs (7ob w '3aram).·
• 2nd day : (da5alty Galbi )·the same day : she call and say I love u  Kaifi 3ndiki maani3 (thinking she is going to seduce u)! lool·
• 3rd day- u break up ( U cant stand the accent).
• ·one year : It tooks her the whole year to understand that u Break up with her.·
• 2nd year: try to hang around you as a friend!!·
• 3rd Year: She gets your new Cell #!! And Do the same thing again!!       

-To Be Continued-

Dancing Like a Moron!

        Dancing like a moron means, that you dance with no music around. It means as well, When you feel the music within your soul moving slowly at first in your vain and then rapidly makes you shake..

It happen all in sudden like when you expect a failure in one class find out that you passed!

Like a miracle that its impossible to happen and a baby that Never been expected to be born.. Dancing like a moron can be practiced when you are at your room alone, or in front of the public! You don't give a flying fuck about what any one would think about it or you… Or what's going to happen next!!

        I Remember once, I had that music calling me to dance in Art class. We were asked to draw a portrait and I could've hear Warda Singing (7arramt a7ebbak) in my heart's theatre, Waving at me asking me to dance and all the crowded audience were there to cheer me up. I realized that am in the class and barley controlled my horses!! Otherwise, I'be Getting into The Posisiton of a running stride and run on the spot for about 1 Minutes Like So

Dancing like a moron can be treated as an expression for certain moods…

When you are happy: You Can Just Dance. Like wise in success, when you are bored: You Can escape that by running into your hidden joy and dance. When you are in love; wohoo!! You just shake dat bootie yo baby!!

         I danced like a moron when I was in High school, when the girl I had a crush on asked me for a date! When I was in university and everybody was sure that am going to fail in that class Even Me!! But I Graduated!! When, My Grandma Returns from Hospital after she got paralyzed after the stroke. And every body was sure that she wont make it.. When sadness Flaw on Mom's Face because of how hard life is getting. And each of my sisters failed to make her laugh… I Dance!!

When my life sucked and everything seemed screwed up and then you said you loved me. When I'm High, I simply dance like a moron!

And now, after reading this… Do you still think that dancing like a moron is ain't cool at all? If You Still Think So… Then Go And Check this Site OUT

Adios

This is Not Fair at all yo dear God! What is the matter with you?! Did you being me to this world to Be a Social worker for everybody but not for my self?

I'm Sick of that God… Everybody comes to me running for an advice as If I'm the God Father for them!! And It doesn't make me feel good at all coz I simply Had enough of being so Supportive!!

I Start to hate it when Fafa Calls 24/7 to give me the updates on her relationship as if I do Give a FUCK!! I Don't care!! I Really Don't Care about that But Wsh Asawi I Shut up and listen!! Then Here it comes with (7amam Jana msayyan) She comes also and Spit all her problems on me (7araam I Love Her Beside ya kithr ma sma3at lee)..

Bas akthar shai pissed me off that all of them come for advice!! Why don't they leave me alone! I Have problems of my own that I need to concentrate on and think about!!

And like that Girl I met Online!! I knew nothing about her, and it was the first time we chat. She said Listen I have this problem with such and such blaah blah blah!! Yo2 I don't know you ya Miss. Chatter ! to tell me all these details!! Ya3ni Ewww Men Jed!!

Then We come to my Sisters…They Keep asking me about my Opinion!! Do I Look Like a person who is interested in getting Married to ask me about (Marriage Issues)!!! F***!!

Then We come to work… Noony keep talking about her BF who loves her and she doesn't know if they should get married or not!! 6ayeb Ana wsh da5alni!!! Its ur own fucked up life.. Get married or screw ur self!! Then Jo..Comes and want me to tell her what I think about her Multi Relationships and that I should advice Her if she should continue or not!!

FUCK!!!

Shall I tell Her that Go and Mess around with everybody!! I would've told her that she must acting as a Bitch!! This is too much ya Rabbi I Cant Handle this wallah!!!

I Cant handle all these ppl intruding in my life and not respecting my privacy!! I'm not that Fucking DR.PHIL!! Nor Frasier Crain!! I am not Oprah,Tyra Banx or Even Queen Latifah! I am not Dr.Montel..Nor Rickie Lake Or Jerry!!!

Uffffff Why God…. Why!!!

- Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
- Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
- Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
- What disease did cured ham actually have?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
- Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
- Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
- If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when asking where the bathroom is?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
- Can you cry under water?
- If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
- Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
- Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

As a Leo person who learn how to face all kind of ppl,I can say that: Yes! I'm acting cold.. This coldness put me in lots of troubles.. I dunno why it Bothers them that much (and I'm not trying to act as a victim or pretend to be a drama queen).. The story started When I realized that whenever I have a fight with my elder sister (older than me in few years) I use to get angry fast, and that was a problem to me because I'm a Leo, and she is a Taurus!!

You can imagine the huge fight! So I've learn to Act so cold, as if I dont care, and that led her to burst into anger and no one would answer her!! Means… She was angry more than before! LoL!! I Started using this method whenever am in a middle of a situation that I'm sure 100% that am gonna be so f** Angry and I will lose control of my self.. I hate taking medicine just to control my anger level (I can do it alone) So I treated my self with this coldness.. Some one bothers you? Fine, Ignore him!! Someone hurt you? Fine, Fuck it! Someone made you angry like a boiling water? Wateva!! Dont think about it!!

Now I lost my old self.. You know whenever you fall in love, your old self is the one who respond to everything..and i've been in a deep confusion between my self and I.. From a point,I need to act this way so I wont get Hurt.. in another way, The one I Love Gets Mad because of my coldness..!! No Comprmising in this thing so whether I continue acting like that or I lose (this person) For ever! I dont want to lose (this person) So, I start to write down what bother me the most…So I wont be so cold..

As in today,I really hate the situation when I miss someone, and we are going to see each other in a short time then every one should go home.. I would rather spending these hours with you..Instead of sleeping!

I would've wait for  you instead of  taking my things and just leave… The thing that bothers me is that.. I dont know If I'm loved in the same way I do love those ppl… Am I Missed as I do Miss them? Do they think of me as I do think of them? Do they Submit a Du'aa for me when they pray as I do to all of them? They are tiny things that makes the person Swing from Happiness to sadness… From Joy to melow!!

Private message to Someone I Concider as a Special Friend and a Soul mate:  I'm praying for you.. So Inshalla Yeshfi jamee3 Mar'9a el Moslemeen Ya rab.. اللهم رب الناس.. أذهب الباس وشافها.. وعافها.. وارحمنا  I just want you to know that I will be there for you whenever you need a Friend (you wont find a friend like me..if you searched among yours) And U can count on me in lotta of things.. I Just Pray to Ashoof '3alaay B3younik! Just to see how much I do mean to you…Is it the same as you do to me?!

Private message to someone I Concider as my Everything: I'm Praying to keep us together.. You Brighten my life and I start to see life in a different measure..Not like before.. And this is terrifying me because I dont know what is going to happen later on.. ( و أحط ايدي على قلبي و أدعي لي.. يااااربي الله يستر) I dont know … Allah Yestir…

Private message to Someone I Concider as my (Sister fi allah): Ya 7beeelik ya5ti… You are someone who wouldnt yetkarrar fee 7ayati.. Allah ya36eeek 6ool el 3omr wel 9e77a w tefra7eeeen Fi ur little Daughter inshalla wel bageen Kamaan…

W bas 5ala9

 Now tell me,

I do have all these questions in my mind. But never thought of asking about them or even have a logical reply to'em!

Let's say; you gotta a brother who wanna get married and asked you to help your mom looking for a beautiful girl..aiight?

Why do you ask about the tiny things about her? WHY would you care to know all these detailed details about the one who is gonna be your Brother wife!! Eww! I just didn't like the idea at all!! I wouldn't go and answer the people for those questions coz wsh da5alhum! Or let me say I care less about these informations…5alli o5ooy ye3rifha bnafsoh!!!

Or This Stupid Question, When They Ask you about if you still Love an Ex!! Wsh Da5alkom ento!! Naas Ma 3ndaha Salfah!!

Or let me say another question….Lamma yes2allnik ashya2 sha59eya ma7ad loh el 7ag yes2alha.. w '3a9ib yboon y3rfoon el ejaabah!!

Bas Wallah el Point hena is.. Don't event Trust ur Relatives.. Give your Whole trust to your Lover,, I Love you Ma Girl..

I had an accident yesterday!

It was so fucking freaky and I wasnt so afraid..Not of “death!” But the Situation was so strange..Driver Closed his eyes..Mobile Rang,and Puff!! we hit the Side of da road from ma side,car start to Roll,and then stopped in the Opposite lane,where a speeding car start Flashing lights on Us and I heard Brakes…Thats when I closed my eyes!

When I was outta car,I saw the other car Parked as if its in a damn parking.. Not a Scratch!! And I had to think again of that dream I dreamt at the same day..Of my dead grandma,patting her hand on ma knee and I was scared,she said that (u shouldnt be scared at all..Its not your day..)!! It wasnt my day!! I got another chance to Live and my Dream was true not a bullshit as I thought!!

Damn! Life is Good..Glad I still Have it